


The spirit of giving

by fenrislorsrai



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Black Friday, Christmas Presents, Christmas Shopping, Crowley is Good at Being a Demon (Good Omens), Gen, Prompt Fic, Reindeer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25987312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenrislorsrai/pseuds/fenrislorsrai
Summary: Crowley likes to start off the holiday shopping season by letting people decide how much they REALLY want that perfect gift...
Comments: 17
Kudos: 28
Collections: SOSH - Guess the Author #4 "A Gift"





	The spirit of giving

It was an annual tradition that compacted so much madness and misery into a single day. It always got Hell off his back ‘til the New Year. One call in to the security desk and a guard who had no idea why they quit today of all days and Crowley had the run of the mall. 

He looked down into the central court where the fountain was in the process of being replaced by a Christmas village. The workers already looked miserable and would only get more so as the day got into full swing. A quick snap and the setup was finally done. No one would notice until later that the fake reindeer had _very_ realistic horizontal pupils that somehow seemed to be looking at you in photos. 

It was very early for Crowley, and so early for the Americans it actually qualified as late. A quick look at what was on offer in these mad doorbuster sales and he made his selections. One snap and the most desirable items reappeared miles away where they’d be put to good use. The tills would all match at the end of the maddening day as if things had sold out early. Wouldn’t want anything to slow the madness machine like noticeable “shrinkage”. A cute name for something that would be stripped out of the hides of those that likely couldn’t afford any of the gifts that were “on sale” at the places they toiled. 

And here was the motherload, where the sins would really pile on top of each other. Ah, there it was, right in front. The hot toy of the year, already being sold by scalpers. He loved the sheer unpredictability of it. Ever since the 80s he’d made a little prediction at the fall equinox as to what was going to be the item this year. No interfering, just a fun little guess about what wild thing humans would pick as the must-have item this year. He’d guessed wrong again. 

A similar little trick with the tills and everything behind the initial front row of the display vanished off to a nearby social services drive. What was there in that first row was all there would be. 

He could hear the sound of outer doors opening and the dull roar of people in motion. He heard the rapid footfalls of someone racing full tilt to where he stood. 

“How the hell did you get here first!?!” 

“M’just leaving. You seen the Hot Topic?” 

A surly grunt and a pointed finger and he sauntered off in the indicated direction. He looked back and could see the first argument starting about where the line was. Once the gates opened and it was discovered they’d sold out in minutes, the real madness would begin. 

He pulled out his cellphone to dial another mall that opened a half hour later. He could skip to the next time zone after that. 

Black Friday wasn’t originally one of his, but it was now. 

**Author's Note:**

> Reindeer really do have horizontal, creepy pupils like goats. Christmas decorations lied to you.


End file.
